Pessimistic
by bluebottlebutterfly
Summary: "He's never home anymore....I don't even wonder where he is. I'm a pessimist." . Lightly angsty oneshot about a failed marriage that shouldn't've happened in the first place.


__

Pessimistic 

He's never home anymore. 

I don't even wonder where he is. I'm a pessimist; if I tried, every scenario (and there would be many; I'm imaginative as well) would come out dark or sinful. 

He never surprises me with flowers or candy like he used to. 

The ladies at work used to have a separate inbox for the letters and treats he'd send me, simply because he was "thinking of me". 

He never thinks of me anymore. 

When his eyes get clouded over, and I ask him what he's thinking of, it's never me. It's always work or a Quidditch game he's bet on. 

My marriage is falling apart. 

Everyone was right when they said that we'd never last. But I was happy with him, and that was all that mattered. He never used to listen to what people said, but now other people's opinions are all he cares about. "Don't wear that dress, people will think we don't have any money." "Don't drink that wine, people will think you're an alcoholic." "Don't swear, people will think that we're vulgar people with no manners. It's just a broken nail." 

My mother told me not to worry about these things. She said that he was just nervous, as we were newlyweds, and he wanted to present his wife in a 'good light'. 

There is no good light for us anymore. 

When we got married, there were people there I didn't even know. But I smiled at them anyway, and they congratulated us, and wished us a long and happy life together. I could tell they didn't mean it. I'm a pessimist. That's what I do. 

He's never home anymore. 

When I ask him where he's been when he comes home late at night (sometimes early morning) he shrugs. "Don't be paranoid, baby," he tells me nonchalantly. 

I'm not his baby. I don't think I ever was. He never used to call me "baby" or anything like that. So I can tell he doesn't mean it.

He doesn't mean anything he says anymore. Making promises he can't keep, giving me money to shut me up. 

The money doesn't matter.

We don't even fight anymore. That's how I can tell he doesn't care. Fighting allows us to vent, and to tell each other what's bothering us so that we can make it better. 

It's not getting any better. He's more a stranger to me than someone I pass on the street.

---------------

He took me to dinner tonight. I hoped that it was a sign that he was trying to make things work. 

No. I am not an optimist. When I try to be one, I just make it worse. 

He got another promotion. I congratulated him, but it was empty. I sometimes wish he would lose his job so he would spend more time with me. Wonderful wife I am, huh?

He then told me that I was right. 

I was bewildered for a moment, as I had no idea my husband could read minds. 

"I am seeing someone else. And I think I'm in love with her." 

Oh. Right about that. I'd never mentioned my fear of his infidelity to him before. Apparently, my husband _can_ read minds. 

"Virginia." He never calls me Virginia. "I think we should divorce." 

It makes sense. I should've suggested it a year ago, when this started falling apart in the first place. 

I still said nothing, though I should've thrown my water in his face and stormed out of the restaurant. But I didn't. I was waiting for the blow to fall. Because surely there had to be more. He had to know that he could freeze my assets at Gringotts and all would be over for me. My husband is very smart, and he would eventually figure this out. If I tried--

"Virginia, are you listening to me?" 

I still said nothing, but I looked up and faced him. "Aren't you going to overreact like you always do?" 

I do not overreact. I almost stated this. But that would throw my stony façade off, and I'm trying to perfect it. 

"Please, say something," he begged.

I left. 

---------------------------

I'm filing the divorce papers today. 

And as I do, I wonder if he'll ever think of me again. What will he tell his new girlfriend about me? She can't have known that he was married while she was sleeping with him. No respectable woman would continue an affair with a married man _knowing_ that he was married. I would never dream of it. 

Then later, after the two of them are married, he'll stop coming home early, like he used to. He'll stop sending her presents, and kissing her on the stairs just because the moment moves him. He'll stop being the romantic, loving guy she married. 

And then she will realize that she got nothing out of this relationship, even though she fought so hard against everything her family had ever set out to get their blessing, only to realize that it was all for naught. And yet, even though she finds herself hating the things he does, she will know that she still loves him. 

I still love you, Draco. 

-----------------------

Disclaimer: Neither Ginny nor Draco belong to me.

Don't quite know when or how I wrote this. I was cleaning out my files, and I found this, and it kinda bewildered me, because I don't remember writing it. But I'm sure it was written by me, because it _sounds_ like something I'd write…so.…I don't know. Just review it. 


End file.
